August 2018 my favorite month

Hello everyone it’s been a long time I wrote here since I have been super busy .

The month of August was one of the best month I have had the whole of this year and although I didn’t know what it was going to be like I was very surprised (and it takes a lot to surprise me these days) I was in a very good way and I am very grateful to all the wonderful people who made it possible.

But then someone will ask whatever happened in the month of August to make me so thankful…. while I will tell you.

It all started when we were told that anyone who can make it to help assist in a place where the need is great for people to help a particular congregation of jehovah’s witnesses for a month and quite frankly when I heard it i said I wasn’t going to go and this was in February but as the months drew near I started to change my mind about going and finally I decided to go and that’s was the best decision I made.

To cut things short if you have been reading my earlier blog post you will know I have polycystic ovarian syndrome and a type 2 diabetic and trust me having those two combination is not very pretty at all even on your best days so I was kind of very worried to go cause for :

  • I didn’t want to be a burden to myself, everyone and everybody.
  • I was scared I won’t be able to fulfill my commitment to my God, myself and everyone.
  • I was down on finances so I was very skeptical in going.

These were my main reasons why I was limping between going and not going but in the end I decided to trust my God jehovah and have faith in him to take care of me on this journey for him.

Within the month that we went on this amazing journey to take the good news jehovah and his son Jesus christ promises for mankind and the hope that comes along with it to the people who don’t get to hear it often was very humbling for me and to see the smiles and gratitude on their faces made it all worthwhile and I couldnt have asked for any blessing more than that.

And the people I met were wonderful and I couldnt have asked for more but the group of young brothers and sisters whom we all went together were just amazing people who I wouldn’t have gotten to know personally if I haven’t travelled together with them .

What was awesome about the pass month was how jehovah my God was with us through it all and what started as an uncertain situation became a very worthwhile and worthy situation.

In all this past month of August I learnt a lot , grew up a lot , changed a lot , made lasting friendship and bonded with my brothers and sisters and made new friendships and over all had a wonderful time.

I will be posting more about my month long trip later on and I will be writting about how being back has also been like .

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TALKING

Today I was talking with a friend and a brother and whiles talking I came to a lot of conclusions I have been thinking about lately .

I found out that I haven’t decided if I really want to get married or not and frankly I didn’t care if I got married or not and I quite didn’t see all the fuss about getting married and it was a shock to me .

Today I was so tired and I was really overcome with such a sudden sadness I had to stop mentally and focus on my Christian meeting tonight and tonight I guess I really wanted to talk to someone and I think he was a Godsend tonight cause I found out that talking did he helped me a lot I got some things I have been bottling inside and it was eating me a lot .

Today I was tired of reading rom comedy, watching comedy shows to make me laugh and I was tired of keeping everything to myself and I was most certainly tired of handling everything alone andi was tired of having to always have a smile on my face even if I wanted to shout and scream my hurt out of me and I was tired of being tired.

I was so sad and I felt so alone and a bit pathetic for myself and I hated myself for feeling like this but talking about everything and anything with the people I trust and love and care about felt really nice and I really felt like I shouldn’t have to be in control today and that I could let go and not watch what I have to say and do felt really nice and very freeing for me.

Now I understand why I was really tired today I was literally fed up with everything I am dealing with and that I am a bit overwhelmed again cause I have been trying so hard to always appear so strong and together was talking it toll on me .

I am so glad I gave myself this chance to talk and I learnt a few things from my brother and friend ;

  • Having friends who care about you is nice
  • Talking with said friends really does help me not to go crazy to the point of trying to pull my hair out (said hair is already pulling out anyway without me trying).
  • We all have problems and taking a second a minute an hour a day a month a year to talk to someone doesn’t hurt at all but instead it helps a lot(y’all should try it it is very therapeutic).
  • Don’t listen to the people who make you feel bad about yourself but the ones who make you feel very very good about yourself are the ones you should listen to .
  • And a whole lot of other things I am unwilling to write about cause am sleepy.

The bottom line is that talking to the people who care about us can really do wonders for people living with pcos and today I am glad I did and it gave me a lot to think about.

Hope you enjoy reading and as usual your feedbacks are welcome.

AUNT FLO CAME AFTER A LONG ABSENCE

The past two weeks have been hell for me with swollen and very painful breasts to abdominal cramps so bad i couldn’t do anything to the nausea to headaches to loss of appetite to insomnia to constipation to diarrhea to getting infections to getting malaria to the body pains and the leg pains I have had my hands fingers and plates full up to my neck . Ooh hahahahahahaaa writing this is so funny I can’t help but laugh .

But this wasn’t a laughing matter when I was going through it and all this was signalling to me that something big was on the way the price and what was this price …… well .

AUNT FLO came this week without any restrictions after a year long absence can you believe this ?.

Ooh people I was super happy and trust me I was doing the happy dance cause all of the things I went through didn’t matter at all and y’all know how difficult it is to make aunt flo come visit every month when you have pcos .

But I didn’t count on how much aunt flo I will see and trust me it was a lot cause after a year you can Imagine how much will come so on Tuesday it wasn’t the happy dance but I was majorly anemic and feeling faint.

All week long I have been on bed rest which proved to be as painful as it could be with swollen breasts and abdominal pains .

So I did build up my iron folic acid and b12 levels so although I was tired fatigue and faints all week long I have never been happier.

I will be taking all the rest I can this week cause next week jehovah willing I am going to be better and I will be right in with all the going on around me .

So this has been my week long run down .

Thanks for reading and as usual any suggestions or advice will be greatly welcomed .

Ooh did I tell you I lost some pretty good weight but I will say more on my next post 😄😄😄😄😄 enjoy reading this one then.

MY LIFE TILL NOW PT2

Hello everyone I am so sorry that I am now writing about the pt2 of my life till now.

Since my last post here it’s been a while I got the desire to write.

It’s been so hectic for me but a lot of exciting experience which I will leave for the next post and now let me contiune with my life story as I won’t waste your time anymore as I have wasted with you waiting for the continuations.

So I reach 22and ooh this makes me remember my favorite song at that time was Taylor Swift 22 .

So 22 was a very happy year for me cause I did the one thing that made me very happy and that is to get baptized as one of jehovah’s witness and after my baptism a new unwanted friend raised its ugly head in my life and what was that ;

DIABETES;

Yeap it brought itself in my life and to tell the truth I didn’t care all I kept thinking at that time was living life to the fullest and having a normal life as much as possible and that if I was going to die I wouldn’t with any regrets and for the next 3 years I did with doctors appointment to taking medications which I hated at that time very much to having a wonderful life and time filled with spiritual activities to making wonderful amazing friends cause I lived like every single day was my last one but when I got to 25 which was last year I had another big scare that was going to lead to another big change for the rest of my life.

So last year around February I went to the hospital with such a stomach pain I ended up staying for 4 days at the hospital which became a fight for my life.

HYPERGLYCEMIA and it took 4 days to bring it back to normal and the sereve stomach ucler too with a medication change for my diabetes and I saw an improvement but I was gaining weight so bad i was starting to get scared again cause now I suspected that my weight gain has nothing to do with diabetes but it was something else.

So I talked with my very friendly diabetes doctor about it and i was referred to a gynecologist and lo and behold I was diagnosed with pcos last year in November and the rest you know.

Thanks for reading my life story till now.

ISSUES

Hello everyone it’s been such a while one month precisely that I posted something and to think it’s been a month already is something but within this one month period I have had work through some issues and I will try and write as much as possible. 

So as you all know I was diagnosed with pcos last year in November and when I was diagnosed it really didn’t mean much to me cause I am one of those people who usually don’t react in the moment I react later when everything has settled down, so it really didn’t do anything to me in November and December  last year but when we hit the new year from January through to now ooh it has hit me so bad i just didn’t know how to do with it, blogging helped me put some of my thoughts into words and that helped a bit but my feeling were all over the place and I had to understand and work through them one by one .

So when I was diagnosed within a little part of me couldn’t shake off the unfairness and anger over been diagnosed and I kept asking myself why me among all my family and friends I was the only one with this condition. 

So within the month this hit me so bad that I had to take time away from everything to work through this feelings and come to terms with the new situation I am in now and how to continue to live the best possible normal life .

Taking time out to sort out my feelings has definitely helped me come to terms with myself I had to work through with the feelings of so much anger I was taking it out on everyone around me and I unfairness I was feeling.

It hasn’t been easy for me at all dealing with my diagnosis and the constant doctors appointments with all the medications along with exercising and having to abstain from things that doesn’t help me to my family being not being supportive and them adding to the constant things I have to worry and be anxious or depressed. 

The bottom line is when you are diagnosed with any condition take time to work through it cause it’s important for the road to recovery. 

Please let me know what you think. 

HYPOGLYCEMIA ….

Lately as y’all know I have been exercising to lose some weight and also to be healthy in both my body and mind .

I tell I am enjoying the fruits of my labour with me seeing the changes in my body and I must say I am overjoyed with this improvements .

This is me on the 3rd of February 2018

And this is me last Sunday with some of my friends having fun 
How do I look ??

So with this improvements i am exercising really hard and eating right but in smaller portions and I am taking my medications as usual so I didn’t count on hypoglycemia and it did hit with such a blow this morning .

So this morning I woke up my recently waking up time which is 4:30am and I prepared for my daily exercise program I follow along on the national TV, so I was really set .

And so at 5 am we started with the warm ups and I must say it was going quite well and to think I was really happy and that is the first all week for me I was happy really happy but after the warm up and when the real exercise begun I torn something in my upper left thighs so I started feeling so much pain there but nothing was going to stand in my way of my happy place this morning so I forged on without stopping but after a few seconds I noticed I was having difficulty breathing and all of it sudden I was weak then I started fading out I was fainting and feeling nauseous at the same time I was having difficulty breathing I really don’t know what happened but I really did fight it to stay awake , so I lie down on my couch and did my best to breath through it but I started noticing that although I was sweating I was feeling very chilly so now I was really not sure what was happening to me and I thought I was having a heart attack but I didn’t notice any chest pain so I knew it wasn’t a heart attack .

So now I didn’t know what to do so whiles trying to breathe and also not to vomit cause I was feeling like it I started praying and calling out to my God and as my younger sister told me this afternoon all I was saying was ooh jehovah save me that’s what I kept saying whiles I was lying on the couch and it took a few minutes but it seemed like a life time and I was really scared in these few minutes but I started seeing that my breathing was becoming normal and I started to feel okay then I was feeling okay but I wasn’t okay at all.

After all these I started to feel sereve headache and my heart started beating fast again and I was very weak so I managed to reach my phone and to the Internet to try and understand what was happening to me and that’s when I understood that I was hypoglycemic and so through out the whole day I have been building up on my sugar level but I wanted it to be a healthy sugar I was eating cause too much sugar too is not pretty and fun at all .

So this has been my day so far although I still feel weak and tired I am doing okay and it have made me see that at least am doing something right and at the same time am doing something wrong too so it will be to the drawing board for me to find it out and work on it so that I don’t have to feel this way again although I can’t guarantee that it won’t happen again at least now I know what to do and what to expect when it happens again .

Thanks for reading and if you have any suggestions on how or what to do please let me know .

MOOD SWINGS 

Hello everyone I have been meaning to add part 2 of MY LIFE TILL NOW but I just couldn’t bring myself to write it and I must say this week I have been in a mother of all mood swings and seriously it is taking it toll on me and I am lassing out and it haven’t been pretty at all .

So on Sunday I went out with a few friends and it was so great to go out and be refreshed from the hectic week and we had such a wonderful time I though this whole week was going to be happy week for but ooh I was wrong.

I was so wrong people cause on Monday morning it was like I just don’t know what happened I woke up on the wrong side of my bed I was so sad nothing could lift my spirit and that means I was quite all day everyone kept asking me if I was okay and as usual I gave my automatic answer I am fine , I am doing great but I wasn’t fine neither was I doing great .

I thought I will be okay on Tuesday but it was worst so worst I was giving one worded answers or shaking my head in answer and whenever asked I was giving my one worded answers I was feeling such great sorrow that I couldnt eat or sleep well and in all this nobody knew what was wrong with me or what I was going through and that made me more sadder and sadder . 

Now I was in such a sad state I started thinking of giving up on trying so hard to get better and to keep on fighting that’s when I stopped myself and started shouting in my head no I am not giving up, I am not quitting and neither was I going to stop fighting and at a point in time I fell asleep but I woke up two hours after sleeping and I couldn’t sleep again with me turning and sweating on my bed so you can imagine the mood I was in when I woke up this Wednesday morning. 

Yes I was in a CRAPPY MOOD I was in an all out killer mood cause I was angry sad lonely and I was actually in pain (I had the mother of headache ( pressure headache) ) and I wasn’t pretty and so you can imagine what I did when some unsuspecting victim which happened to be my mum started with her morning lecture aimed at making me feel more worst off Than I was already feeling and I went on the offensive and it wasn’t pretty and after that I felt so guilty cause I felt like I have disrespected her ( but the relationship between me and my mother is a topic for another day cause she always thinks am lying or pretendind about what is wrong with me ) .

After that incident I lie on my bed and cried my heart out it was so angry and sad that pcos was making me this way I wasn’t a mean or bad person but I landed at my mother , I wasn’t this kind of person and I took to praying to Jehovah God to help me deal with all these feelings and to channel them to something better and for me to be back to my normal self who is always happy bubblely fun self who doesn’t care whatever someone said about me and although I am still in this mood I know all will work out for the better and something I watched this evening touched on this subject .

It goes like this when you can’t pray for yourself you need someone to hold your hand and pray for you but In my case I don’t so you reading can do it for me and I will do my part too.

Thank you in advance and as always I want to help how everyone deal with their mood swings cause am still new to this condition and I need all the help y’all can give me.

MY LIFE TILL NOW PT 1

I am happy to write this particular post and someone will ask why am I happy and why is the title my life till now ;

Well I will tell you .

Last year I think was a turning point in my life and although I still don’t know where these changes are going to take me to,  I am not afraid anymore of what life will throw at me cause I am not alone at all.

Since I turned 16 and completed high school I have been sick since then and we couldn’t explain what was wrong with me , my parents bless their heart wanted to find out what was wrong with me and I also wanted to find out what was wrong with me cause for a full year I was going to the hospital every single day and I was tested and probed anywhere a person should be probed . Nobody has to go through the pains and emotional trauma I went through at 16 and 17 .

Whiles my age mates were having the time of their lives i wasn’t cause I was always sick somewhere in my body and this constant hospital trips and seeing different doctors telling me that nothing was wrong with me and that I was perfectly fine since they couldn’t find any cause for what was wrong with me except for me to loose weight.

So from 17 I believed what the doctors told me that I was perfectly fine and that it was my weight causing me all my troubles and so I became obsessed with losing weight and seeing my body as the enemy i hated myself so much that I couldnt bring myself to look in the mirror, I hated my self so much it turned to a major depression. I almost committed suicide.

I was so insecure with no self worth always feeling so useless with such low Confidence that I couldnt raise my head high when I was among people .

Through all this is wasn’t alone at all when I got to 18 it seems someone very powerful noticed all the hardship I was going through and he intervened to save me from the misery and dispear I was in and going through, so who was this person well am sure by now you have guessed it but if you still haven’t figured it out let me tell you then;

It was God almighty and he saved me from myself cause I couldn’t take it anymore so as I decided to kill myself he intervened by sending one of his people to me at that particular moment I decided to end it all cause enough is enough for me .

That day was the beginning of something new in my life and an amazing journey of finding love from my wonderful creator whose name is jehovah that day I experienced a taste of his love and I wanted more, so packing my objects to end my life and throwing them away I never knew I was throwing away the old me and giving birth to the new me made wonderfully and beautifully in his image and that started my journey of studying the bible with jehovah’s witnesses and learning about the things God liked and do what he didn’t like and getting to know him as a real person who loves and cares for me more than anybody could ever can.

I studied and made such improvements in my life so much that for the first time I was truly happy and I started associating with the witnesses I got to meet and make wonderful friends and people from all over the world who truly love you and finally the day came I dedicated my life to jehovah to serve him for the rest of my life it was the happiest day of my live a day I will never forget and this was when i was 22 years.

After a few months sickness reared it’s ulgy head again with a big blow.

I will be bringing you pt  2 on my next post you wouldn’t want to miss the rest of my story till now.

EXERCISE 

So y’all know that exercise is the key to a  healthier lifestyle and it is not a lie but the truth is exercising can be quite a challenge especially those of us with certain health conditions but lately I have being sacking it up like the mature woman I am and taking control of my life by exercising every morning.

Since I don’t have access to a gym I decided to make it easier on myself by following an exercise program on one of the tv stations here in Ghana and to tell you the truth I have never been happier with myself .

But someone will ask why is good Ole exercise making me happier and frankly exercising is good for the body what makes mine different. 

Well you know from my page that I am type 2 diabetic and I have pcos too and trust me it comes with it own sets of challenges and some constant battles but the one difficult problem to deal with is weight gain , I have a condition in which I gain weight faster than losing it so exercising is my solution to the problem but here is the down side exercising is so difficult in itself plus pcos not making it easier to lose weight can me one give up on themselves and the chance to get much healthier. 

This was me in December before I started exercising I was only started taking my medications  

Improvements 

I call this an improvement cause this was the one dress I have been dying to wear but It just couldn’t fit me .
More improvement 

I could finally wear my jeans that have been in my closet for a year and I was on fire I was going to show off my new body people.

Yes I was showing off my new weight at a movie premier last weekend .

So in all I know losing weight with pcos can be hell and annoying but I have found that working hard, exercising well , taking my medications and some supplements all combined with eating right I will get there and see some improvements in my overall general health and out on life .

So although it is difficult don’t give up at all cause it pays not to give up .

I will be happy to hear more from everyone how they are doing it .

PAINS IN PCOS 

Hello everyone it’s been a while I posted since I have been a bit busy with life.  I find that my outlook on life is gradually changing and I think it is for the better not in a bad way at all .

But I have noticed something ever since I was diagnosed with pcos since November last year, I was given metformin and I noticed that I started having ovulation in December and trust me I was very happy but in all this new found happiness I started experiencing pain although I have read it online that there is no pain associated with pcos I found that to be very misleading. 

So someone will ask what is this pain well although it may sound funny to many people and trust me my mom laugh her heart out when I told her yesterday I was having this pain in this particular area within my body and I have found out that I am not the only one experiencing this pain.

PAIN IN THE WOMB BEFORE OVULATING. 

  Can you believe this pain in the womb well since most women don’t have this pain they may laugh at those who have it and trust me many women suffering from pcos experience this pain and sometimes this pain sends them to the ER and with mine when I started ovulating it was an uncomfortable feeling in my adominal area it was so uncomfortable that I didn’t feel like doing anything but in January it changed from an uncomfortable feeling to a low dull pain which make it difficult to sit .

This month it was different the pain was so painful I cried my heart out it was difficult siting like my whole adominal region was on fire I couldn’t sit in have to lie down and even while writting this post I am still in pain but it is going down it feels like there is brick on my adominal region and the annoying thing is that this pain is not specified to one place but it differ from month to month  can you believe this but believe me it does.

I know I am not alone in this pain I am currently experiencing I want y’all that this pain is real and it’s not all in our heads as most of our doctors made us believe it is I want you all to know IT’S NOT IN OUR HEADS BUT IT IS REAL.

So take heart all my pcos warrioress although we feel this way sometimes we will continue fighting and always remember pcos won’t stop us , pcos won’t beat us